'My dad started berating me': Lactose-Intolerant Party Guest Creates Riff Between 43-Year-Old Father and 18-Year-Old Son

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Jan 20, 2024 5:00 PM EST

For all you lactose-intolerant people out there: Apparently, dairy can do more than just affect your digestive system, it can also affect your relationship with your father... Okay, so there's no real science behind this claim, but there is a first-person story of just this. Neither the father nor son seems to be the one suffering from lactose intolerance, but it would appear even if you are in the same room as someone with an intolerance, it can rub off on you. 

This poor family suffered the emotional turmoil of someone else's dairy issue when the 18-year-old son was asked to cook a birthday dinner for the 43-year-old father and his friends. Ths son was excited to show off his cooking skills and decided to go with a family recipe his mother passed down to him. Everyone was amazed at his great job at cooking up such a scrumptious and tender chicken, but when he revealed the secret was marinating the chicken in milk, one guest had a not-so-friendly reaction. Turns out this guest was lactose-intolerant. Instead of the dad getting frustrated at the guest for not disclosing this allergy in the first place, he turned to his soon as the villain of the story. And this is where the by-proxy lactose-intolerant symptom began… Are you dairy-free? How do you approach dinner parties?

Need a pick-me-up after this story, check out this friendly list of memes to text your BFF. 

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  • 01
    "I just did what my mom taught me: Use milk to make the "" chicken tender...
    via B Rosen via Flickr
  • 02
    AITA for not telling my dad's guests that I marinated the chicken with milk?
    via u/Clazipsef
  • 03
    It was my(18m) dad(43)'s birthday. He wanted me to cook for him and some friends, and I said yes. Met some of them before. One of his friends is also my gf(18)'s dad. I did what my mom taught me : use milk to make the chicken tender.
    via u/Clazipsef
  • 04
    A couple of them were surprised that I managed to cook roasted chicken well. I told them 'Thanks. I just marinate it with milk to make it tender' and one of them panicked.
    via u/Clazipsef
  • 05
    Turns out he has milk allergy and gets digestive issues. My dad started berating me, saying I should have told them ahead of time that I was using milk to check if anyone is allergic. That it was careless of me not to check first when milk is a common allergy.
    via u/Clazipsef
  • 06
    Ajohnson62 11 hr. ago. edited 23 min. ago hole Aficionado [12] NTA. Your dad should've told you. See your dad is the HOST and not you. Therefore it is HIS responsibility to find out all that information. Not yours. He asked you to cook. That's it. It is definitely wise to ask before hand if you're cooking for people you don't know very well.
    via u/Ajohnson62
  • 07
    However that one guy sounds lactose intolerant. The good news is he won't die he'll just not leave his toilet for a few good hours. Also idk about where you're from but milk allergy isn't that common in certain countries while it is very common in other countries (mainly Asian countries)
    via u/Ajohnson62
  • 08
    Edit: holy In I never thought I'd get so many comments. But op stated 'digestive issues' which leads me to believe lactose intolerance over allergy. Also for the country thing. In my country 90% of the population is intolerant. Also I believe the dad should've asked. When I host my friends or people I ask about allergies or foods they will not eat.
    via u/Ajohnson62
  • 09
    turancea 8 hr. ago ● And to be THAT person: if my allergic reaction were really that bad, I'd make NTA. sure there wasn't any lactose in my food before consuming it.
    via u/turancea
  • 10
    PBnPickleSandwich. 3 hr. ago But the guest (or dad) should have informed about their dietary restrictions ahead of time. It's not super common to be invited to a
    via u/PBnPickleSandwich
  • 11
    dinner or a party and be told what the menu will be ahead of time. Why would they wait until they arrived and risk not being able to eat anything.
    via u/PBnPickleSandwich
  • 12
    anonblonde911.7 hr. ago This! As someone with SEVERE food allergies I check every time I go anywhere and eat at someone else's house to be sure there's nothing in the food that's going to require epi pens and a hospital trip, as the person with the allergy the one is on you, not other people to make sure food is "safe" to the best of your ability
    via u/anonblonde911
  • 13
    Innit2winnit23 · 6 hr. ago This^ it's up to the consumer to check for allergens not the cook. Granted chicken marinated in milk isn't exactly common but say you were cooking a family recipe of whatever...you cook it exactly how it's been cooked for however long. You don't want to have to alter the recipe cuz of someone's allergy to this, that, or the other
    via u/Innit2winnit23
  • 14
    thing so you proceed to cook as is. But if it's brought to your attention that so and so is allergic to onions or garlic or whatever, then you either take them out completely or you make the person their own dish without the allergic. Until told otherwise you cook how you want to eat!! NTA!!!
    via u/Innit2winnit23
  • 15
    Alarmed Telephone5908 8 hr. ago Not to be THAT person, but if you have any issue with food, you should let your host know before or at least ask before you start eating. To say something after the fact doesn't help anyone.
    via u/AlarmedTelephone5908
  • 16
    · 1 hr. - 1 hr. ago fear_eile_agam Parta ipant [1] Yup, NTA. As someone with allergies, it's MY JOB to tell people who are making me food, and MY JOB to ask "is there [allergen] in this?" when offered food.
    via u/fear_eile_agam
  • 17
    I was at a cafe the other day and I told the serve I was allergic to tomatoes, potatoes and capsicums, I was ordering a "Grain salad" that didn't contain any of those things - But you never know, especially with a capsicum allergy, paprika finds it's way into everything, and potato starch is common too. Better safe than sorry.
    via u/fear_eile_agam
  • 18
    My dish comes out and there's goji berries in it that I wasn't expecting. It's so rare to see Goji berries, let alone in a savoury salad. That's on me, I didn't bother telling the server about that allergy. (I'm allergic to almost everything in the solanaceae family, there's a
    via u/fear_eile_agam
  • 19
    lot, so I usually just name the 3-4 common/most likely to sneak into food when ordering a meal) I offered my food to my friends so it wouldn't be wasted, ordered myself a coffee, and when the bill came I paid it, because I failed at my job, the host, server and chef did their job's perfectly.
    via u/fear_eile_agam
  • 20
    If I'd have eaten the salad before spotting the berries, again, that's on me, It's my job to check what I am putting in my mouth, and my job to deal with the consequences. It's why I carry a epipen like my life depends on it... because it does.
    via u/fear_eile_agam
  • 21
    According_Pizza8484 4 hr. ago 100% agree! Also it's wild to me that if someone has a serious allergy or intolerance that they wouldn't manage that themselves by first communicating this with either the dad before the dinner or prior to eating? Regardless of the
    via u/According_Pizza8484
  • 22
    milk marinade it's pretty common for people to cook using butter rather than olive oil etc so seems like common sense for it to be on them to check something like that up front rather than expecting your hosts to read your mind and ask for you. NTA OP
    via u/According_Pizza8484

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professional cook lactose intolerant family drama father issues chicken marinade recipe birthday dinner party cooking milk lactose-intolerant party guest milk allergy marinating in milk tender chicken recipe dairy free adult son memebase Reddit lactose intolerance professional chef father son
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